The first night in a drunken haze we got lost in the crowd
two spies beyond the others' lines invading
you promised to be on my side, you swore your life for mine
my insurance as I watched my bulwark fading
And I surrendered all too quickly to a man of many names
Who had plotted excavations where my thoughts were
And I wondered now and then if things would ever be the same
Or if anything remained beyond the water
We sat upon a fallen tree one sunny afternoon
side by side, silent, surveying a patch of no mans land
And gazing at the wreckage, said the war would wind up soon
And the thoughts of my lost brothers he made silent with his hands
And I surrendered all too quickly to a man of many names
Who had plotted excavations where my thoughts were
And I wondered now and then if things would ever be the same
Or if anything remained beyond the water
I asked you once in confidence to never leave me be
You made me swear I knew us to be better
Than my every self-destructive fear, my insecurities
And we shook on that and turned and watched the weather change
And I surrendered much too quickly to a man of many names
Who had held me ever since I can remember
And I wondered now and then if I would ever feel the same
Or vanish onward with the season come December
So I wonder did you ever really care that much to me?
Was it all another epic you were writing?
Another chapter to write down and then scratch out before they'd see
the heart beneath the hardy buck there hiding?
So I don't care that much these days for who it is that you became,
I never held him, so I hold him no ill feelings
But I wonder now and then if things just might've been the same
If I were happy never to break that glass ceiling
And I don't mind, no I don't mind
I'm just trying to find my piece of mind.